oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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