i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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