Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
