lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
