Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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