so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
