You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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