Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
