i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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