Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
