She said her name was "party"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
