No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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