Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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