ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
