Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
