Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
