Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
