Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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