It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We need to get me chipped asap
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
