You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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