i permit you to call me
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
