I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
