I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
honey bunches of taint.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
