I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
