She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
