a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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