you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
