worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.