Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
