I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
