What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
