if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
These tits shall not be calmed
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
