Grow some girl-balls and come out already
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Your penis caused this!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
