; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
