No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
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Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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