I want to have your abortion
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize