so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Randomize
