Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
