We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
