If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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