i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
