So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
