Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Randomize
