The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
