you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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