Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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