Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
