I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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