escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize