Can Purell be used as lube?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
