It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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