Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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