one two three fourrrrnication!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
