no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
