There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I am one with the molecules
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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