Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
