absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
