Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
