Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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