some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
