So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
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his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
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So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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