Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize